...you



That may not make a lot of sense so let me attempt to elaborate. Recently I have been struggling a lot with who I am. Not in the sense that I don't know myself, because I do have a pretty good handle on who I am. More in liking myself. That sounds all sad, but I am pretty sure everyone has a similar affliction so no need to pity me.

I have the tendancy to always compare myself to others. I go to a school full of amazing musicians. Like these guys are incredible. I look at these guys and think "man I wish I could play guitar like those guys, I freakin suck." In truth compared to them I am not good at guitar. They say stuff like "just add a 9th to that" and I say "there are numbers in music?" haha seriously I am musically dumb which ironic, I guess God can use anything. Not to say I am this way because of society or anything, but I think society is largely to blame... Ha.

We have so many T.V. shows about people who are so much better than us. Look at all these stars in their fancy clothes, nice cars, nice houses, look how happy they are. "If only I could have that, sing like that, look like that, dress like that. Than surely I could be happy!" Sadly I unconciously buy into that. I want to be as good as someone else, or better yet BETTER than someone. How gross is that?? That is pride for sure. This is where my little epiphany of sorts comes into play.

I am not someone else. I am not a famous person with nice clothes, nice house, perfect smile, perfect body. I am not amazing at guitar or singing, I could be way better. Now rather than beating myself up about that I am trying think "ok why am I like this?" I am who I am for a reason. God has made me special, He has made everyone special. As lame as you feel about yourself you are unique and there is NO ONE like you, how cool is that?

I don't believe that comparing yourself to others does you much good. One could argue that it is a good motivator to get better at something. Perhaps, but if the overall motivator is that it makes you feel that you are not worth something until your as good if not better at it than the other person, that is bad in my opinion.

What is so bad about you or I anyways? I could go way superficial if I want. I don't like the shape of my head, I have a big but, I don't like the way my body is shaped, I don't like my feet, I wish I was better at guitar, I wish I knew how to control my voice better, I wish I could read music, I wish I memorized things better.

Once I realized that I don't need to compare myself to anyone else and that I am the way I am because God made me that way worries and anxieties began fading away. God has made each person unique, we all have our own different talents that can make this world a beautiful place. My talent is no better than your talent, your talent is no better than mine, they are all beautiful.

I think that is a wonderful thing. Don't get caught up in the lie that you need to be better than who you are. Know that you are beautifully made how you are. Don't compare yourselves to people who in all honesty you probably wouldn't trust to watch your little brother or sister. Know that you are special, you have a purpose, you have worth, you have beauty.

It is a hard lesson, I am still learning it. I am trying to get rid of this self-comparison nature that I have. If you speak to me you may hear me catch myself on it. IT is a process but I will figure this out and God willing finally be free from these my ridiculous comparing nature.